What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
