I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Randomize
