Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
