Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
