yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I need to align my fucking chakras
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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