So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
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