God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize