The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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