Sry I called you an 8
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
