Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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