remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Randomize
