Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Randomize
