when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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