I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
