all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
