youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Randomize
