i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
