first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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