wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
