Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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