I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
