Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Randomize
