he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Randomize
