moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
You took a bar mat shot.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
