Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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