she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
