i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
