New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize
