My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
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