You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
