you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Sorry about my life...
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
