I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
