Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize