YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
