After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
