and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Randomize
