If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
So squirting runs in the family.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
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