just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
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