I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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