Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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