that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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