I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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