the condom got lost in my hair
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize