oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
