kristin has been a bad kristin
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
