So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Randomize
