All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
