OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
