The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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