The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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