do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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