In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
he just fucked me for my cheese..
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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