fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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