hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Randomize
