when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
