you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
