i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
