I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
