So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Randomize
