new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
