You can't special order awesome
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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